How Deeper Image Photography Began-My Inner Journey
Deeper Image Photography began after my 14 year relationship came undone. The divorce took a year to be finalized and in that time I courted, grief, sadness, pain and loss. I felt like all the emotions I would normally run away from, the difficult ones, all came crashing over me at once, threatening to drown me. At first this chapter of my life started with a sense of relief and a chance for new beginnings and I even welcomed the numbness which was bearable compared to the pain and the fear that followed.
Before that first year was over I lost my father to a sudden heart attack and shortly after that my beloved Grandmother.
In the winter of 2012 I entered a week long intensive retreat along with a group of 12 participants. The week was devoted to deep healing, awakening, emotional opening, and dreamwork. As I witnessed my own emotions unfold deeper than I had ever experience before and saw the vulnerability of others, I felt a deep desire to photograph this experience. I wanted to take it outside of closed walls and into the world. I began by photographing myself with my tripod, standing quite literally numb in my silk wedding dress, barefoot on a frozen path. I was surrounded by the dark leafless forest of Oaks, dusted with freshly fallen snow.
The process of photographing myself as I healed and grew, chronicles the range of human emotions. I realized that my own personal journey, along with the full range of feelings that I was experiencing connected me to other people who were also facing their shadows. This helped me to see that I was not alone.
My love of nature, especially water is represented in many of the photos. In the dream work I did in the workshop, I often dreamt of water and of being immersed in it. That was when I learned that water in our dream world represents our emotions. One reoccurring dream I had was of standing at the edge of a cliff, or falling down the face of a cliff in slow motion, sometimes I would fall into water. The photo of me standing on the edge of a cliff represented the giant leap of faith I was taking in following through with my divorce.
Along the way, I met people who's stories touched me and who related to the power of imagery and the desire to express the more difficult emotions. These feeling are easy to want to avoid, we find so many distractions through work, food, sex and busy lives. With help and time and a lot of personal work, I found my awakening looked differently than I thought it would. I am more aware than ever how important my own relationship with myself is and how the choices I make are the most empowering part of living a life of truth. For this I am eternally grateful, by facing the dark night of the soul and getting to know my own fear and sadness, I shone a light on my shadows and can now love myself more wholly knowing my full self more intimately.